Saturday, February 26, 2011

Throwing Out Titles

There really isn't anything new to speak about with Beav's police life. He works in the projects (I think they call them something a little more fancy now but let's be real it is what it is.) and he says that no one really comes out in the cold, rain, or snow so there has not been much "action".

I've really been focusing less on being the fiance of a police officer. I think that the title can be consuming at times. Honestly, what does being a cop's wife mean anyway? When Beav just entered into the academy I searched online all about being a police officer, being a police officer's wife,  and the life of a police family. I was consumed with it and for the most part I found that so much of it was negative. I was instantly worried and scared to death about what the future held for me. Specifically, I found this poem and it literally made me cry when I read it I thought it was so depressing. Here it is:

What is a Police Wife?

A Police wife is a woman who is married to a man who is "married" to his job, his partner, and his badge. A Police wife can usually be found cooking breakfast at midnight, picking up his uniform at the cleaners, and spending nights alone.

A Police wife must be a good listener, not questioning him. She must be understanding when he goes out for a beer with his buddies, doesn't feel like taking her to the movies, or has an exam to study for.

A Police wife must live with shift work, lonely holidays, bad jokes, ulcers and alcohol, bulletproof vests, and fixed incomes. She is used to words like rape, robbery, assault, and child abuse. She is familiar with night school, stakeouts, overtime and being on her own.

Most women are not born or raised to be a Police wife; it is something that they have chosen to do. Some can and others cannot. She will spend each day learning, listening to, and loving a man that few people respect and most others hate.

A Police wife makes beds, breakfasts, and love to a man who spends more time with junkies, hookers, informants, pimps, and partners than he does her. She attends dinners, meetings, and sometimes funerals.

A Police wife watches as the man she loves grows old before his time, watches him become cold and unfeeling, but she will remain his friend, wife and lover. She will always be these things to him, but she also knows he is first, A Police Officer.

When a wife kisses him as he leaves for work, she will make a silent wish that he will return to her. And every time there is a knock at the door, she will pray it is not the Chief of Police and her husbands partner coming to say kind things about her husband, how brave he was, how dedicated he was.

Being a Police wife means lots of trust, love, and worry, but when he says, "I love you," it makes it all worthwhile.

I have to say that I am very new to this police life but I understand some stuff the woman wrote about and agree with some of it but even still while I read the poem I feel a sense of anger. It makes cop's wives sound like our lives are to appease our husband. That their needs and wants should always come first because he is the police officer. That our needs come second. For example, "A Police wife is a woman who is married to a man who is "married" to his job, his partner, and his badge." This infuriates me! I am going to be married to a man that loves me and in return he is going to be married to me. Not his job, his partner, or badge but to me! I might be to new and not in touch with what this life will really be like but I know something for sure. I am going to try my very hardest to not become like the woman who wrote that poem because it makes me sad to think that it is really the way she views her life - that her husband is more devoted to his job than to her.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Guess who got pulled over today...

Beav ever since he became a police officer has wanted to get pulled over just so he could get himself out of a ticket. Stupid I know but it's the truth. Me on the other hand barely drives over 55mph, stops at yellow instead of going through red, and always lets other drivers merge in yet I get pulled over today! For the absolute worst thing ever - not moving over a lane when a police officer has someone pulled over on the side of the road. I know what you are thinking! A cop just died because someone hit him while he was doing a car stop I should know better - and I do!!! I was driving in the right lane (like I said I like to drive 55mph) and I was on the Southern State Parkway just trying to get to work and bam! The cop I guess was finished with his car stop and then pulled me over - a State Trooper none the less. I was honest and said I completely forgot that it was a law now and I showed him my license which was luckily in my shield wallet from being out over the weekend so he asked where I got that from. I explained my fiance got it for me and told him where he works. He let me go without a ticket and for one of the first times thanked god that my fiance is a police officer. :)

Thursday, February 17, 2011


A couple of posts ago I mentioned how when school started I would be busy and not notice how much Beav is gone. The truth is he isn't gone that much the real problem is he works terrible hours so I dont see him that much but we make time even its for an hour. However, I am always on the go. Between school and work I am exhausted. Wednesday and Thursday I wake up at 5:30am to be at the hospital for clinical, I'm there until about 1:30pm, I see Beav for about an hour where I usually pass out from being so tired and go to work and finally I get home around 8-8:30pm. Exhausted I am!

Beav and I don't live together so we are looking for a house. Unfortunately, many of the houses in our price range need so much work more work than we could take care of. So, today I spoke with Beav about asking his mother if we would be able to live in his late great aunt's condo for a little while after we get married. His great aunt passed away almost 5 years ago but the condo was paid off so they were just waiting to sell it until the market got better so hopefully this will work for us. I can only do so much and between school, work, and the wedding I am spent. Let's cross our fingers that the maintance fees are not to expensive!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Valentine's Day

Like I mentioned previously Beav had off from work on Valtine's Day which was made my day. Honestly, we could have done absolutely nothing and I would have been happy. I got home from school at 5pm and Beav came over shortly after with red roses and a card. We went out to dinner and went back to his house where he had a suprise for mee. He made all by himself chocolate covered strawberries, pretzels, bananas, and marshmallows, along with getting us a bottle of champagne. In our relationship, I do most of the planning but yesterday he did everything and I felt so pampered by him. It was probably one of the best Valentine's Day we ever had and to think we weren't even going to be seeing eachother. Thank you NYPD for changing his squad :)

Friday, February 11, 2011

Is he working, again?

Me: "Beav's squad got switched today."

My Mother: "So, he won't be home for Bob's (my birthday) birthday?"

Me: "No, he was going to be off but he is working now."

My Mother: "Oh - He is working on Saturday during his family birthday party, right? (I have previously posted about the insane amount of family birthday parties.)

Me: "Yea - He won't have a weekend off now until the beginning of April."

My Mother: "Wow - People are going to forget he even exists."

End of Conversation.

I know she didn't mean anything by it but it is so annoying! Yes, I know he is not around a lot. Yes, I know that he misses a lot of family functions. But I also know that for the last 6 years he has always made it to every single one and if he wasn't working he would be there.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Squad Change

Beav got his official squad today. He went from squad 3 to squad 1 which probably doesn't mean much to anyone but I already looked into what days he would have been off when he was squad 3. I was looking forward to spending Easter, his birthday, my birthday and spending a Friday night together in the next 2 weeks. Now, we wont be spending any of those days together and won't have a weekend night off until the beginning of April which seems so far away. The plus though is we will see eachother for Valentine's Day! Unfortunately, I didn't think we would be seeing eachother so no reservations were made anywhere. It doesn't matter though - I'm just excited I won't be alone on Valentine's day <3

Sunday, February 6, 2011

It's Cute, Just Like You

The other night Beav texted me while he was at work to let me know he forgot to give me a present he got me. Of course, I couldn't wait until the next day to get it so I continued to push for him to tell me what it is. He repeatedly declined to let me know and stated that he doesn't think I am going to like it so he is not going to tell me because he doesn't want to get mad. Instantly, my mind starts racing and thinking what could it be and if he didn't think I would like it than why would he get it for me? I realized that he just put in an order for some knives for a fellow cop and himself so I asked if he bought me a knife. Ding Ding Ding! I got it. I asked why he bought me a knife and he said, "Because it is small and cute just like you." Now I am proud owner of a small and "cute" knife" that he wants me to carry around with me in my bag. It's amazing how we lived 23 years pretty safe and within 2 months he needs to carry a gun with him at all times and he is giving me knives to protect myself. How life changes...

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

24 Hour Shifts?!?

Beav got his very first arrest a couple nights ago!!! I was so excited for him because he was actually the very last of the new guys in his pct to get one and he did it before the end of the month so he made his "performance goal" aka quota. He made the arrest towards the end of the tour so of course he had to stay late to process the arrest. Then, he had to stay to speak with the ada so he had to wait until the morning. Finally, he was told to just stay for the morning tour. So, after all that he ended up working 25 hours and being up for about 32 hours. I don't know how he does it!