Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Wedding Drama

I hope everyone enjoyed their Memorial Day. Beav was suppose to be off Sunday and Monday but got ordered in for Sunday. Thankfully, his partner "owed" him from a previous time he stayed late for him so he said he would take the shift. I was beyond excited and we got so much wedding related stuff done. We went and saw a sample of our flowers (which I love!), we set up the tux rentals, and bought the groomsmen their gifts. Overall, it was productive and of course I was able to spend 2 whole days with him which is a rarity.

I was unsure if I wanted to write about this on here but I realized that no one I know reads this and I would love to hear what other people think I should do...

A little more than a week ago I e-mailed Beav's mother stating that I knew she was so busy with her elderly parents and that I looked into some places for the Rehearsal Dinner (They said they would pay for it.). I sent a list of all the places with their prices and told her which one we preferred. I also said that with summer school starting I really would like to get this taken care of before it started plus invitations needed to be bought. Well, two days later she sent both Beav and I a very rude e-mail back. Basically saying that she hated our first choice and would not pay a dime on it so she will pay for the second choice but still thinks that place is horrible plus she made mention how she feels we only care about the check. She went on to tell us what food she choose, who we could invite (Basically - not including my grandparents. Her words were only people directly involved with the rehearsal), and that she would be picking the invitations so we needed to send her the addresses ASAP. Beav and I were furious and hurt. The complete lack of disrespect that was felt from this e-mail was insane. Beav spoke with his father and he basically validated that he understands why we are hurt but begs Beav to let them still pay for the dinner. After, this entire situation Beav told his father that we would pay for the rehearsal dinner because obviously she feels we are only using her for the money.

My dilemma - Beav feels if we pay for the dinner his mother will not come but I feel that I can not accept their money for the dinner after what occurred. Plus, I do not feel ok with not inviting my grandparents to my rehearsal dinner. Yes, they are not directly involved with the rehearsal but they have done anything they could to help John and I during this entire process including letting us store our gifts in their basement until we found our own home. What would you do? Let them pay for it and have it on their terms or pay for it yourself and see what happens?

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Drinks on a Thursday?!?

I have never really been a fan of girls nights. I guess cause I have always had a boyfriend, then fiance, and a soon to be husband and he would always take more priority over the "girls". Tonight though I went out for a couple drinks with my best friends and we had such a great time. We had a couple drinks, talked, danced, and even saw a old friend - mind you it was only a Thursday! (I never go out on a Thursday) It was so much fun and not planned at all. Sometimes you dont realize how bad you needed to go out until you are home.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Invitations went out!!!

Beav and I mailed our wedding invitations today!!! We made our own invitations because the ones I found were crazy expensive and I figured I would be able to make the same ones cheaper which I did. Would I recommend making them yourself? Only if you have a lot of free time and patience. The last 2 weeks I have spent 2-3 hours a day printing, cutting, glue dotting, and then assembling these invitations. I guess when you figure in the time I have spent it might not have been cheaper but I wasn't being paid per hour. We are soooo excited! I can't wait for the RSVPs to come back! I attached a picture of the invitation. I am pretty sure I whited out the most important stuff but if anyone sees anything else that they feel should be, please do tell :)

Friday, May 13, 2011

Outcome of Easter

The outcome of Easter - Beav and I ate breakfast at his house with his mother, father, and sister. After, we ran around got last minute things and came back to his house to give his mother her present. He went to his aunt's house from 2pm-4pm to say hello to his family which included his grandmother. I stayed back at my house to help my mom get ready for mother's day dinner because my grandparents were coming over and my brother and sister were working. Beav got to my house around 4:30pm and we all ate dinner.

Beav's mom was mad at him/me. She told him that I should have went to his aunts house but in all honesty John went to represent the both of us. I wasn't going to let my mom stay home alone for the majority of the day cooking dinner for us and her mother by herself. In the end, I feel that we probably should have stopped by his grandmother's house so we both could have seen her and not just him but we did what we did and honestly seeing his aunt and cousin does not take precedent over my mother and grandmother. This mixing holiday stuff is difficult!

we signed the contracts for our first house!!! I'm so excited and going to be broke :) Hopefully, mid to late June we will close and we can start making it our own before the wedding :)

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Advice Needed...

I believe that most of you have a little more experience than I do with being married and dealing with everything that comes with it. So, my question is for everyone, how do you split holidays between the 2 families. Beav and I generally have a plan that works for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter but Mother's Day and Father's Day always throws us for a loop. We actually have never made a plan for these holidays. We basically just do them separately. However, we both feel that we should be together and celebrate the holidays with our mothers at different times especially because next year we will be married and should be together. The problem is that both sides do a dinner at around the same time. He already said that his mother won't be very accommodating if we decide to ask if we can do a brunch with her but at the same time I don't feel like I should always have to change my plans with my mother because his won't be accommodating. Now that I vented a little...what do you guys do? Any advice/wisdom that can help us come to a decision :)

Monday, May 2, 2011

Would you like to go for a drive along? No, thank you!

It is ironic because earlier that day I was explaining to my mother how I don't see Beav as a cop that maybe if I actually saw him at work, if I did a drive along that I could picture it. I realized later on that night that I don't want to picture it...at all.

Beav and I were out with a bunch of friends celebrating his birthday this past Friday. (The beauty of a swing schedule sometimes you get Friday and Saturday OFF :) ) We stepped outside so he could have a cigarette (I try to get him to quit all the time) and we were discussing how excited we were that we were actually buying a house that it seems unreal. P.S. - we are going into contract with a house we found a couple weeks ago!!! Overall, the conversation was happy, excited, and we were loving life. We stepped inside and the entire night went down from there. Some drunken fool wanted to fight some guy and Beav's police/male instincts kicks right in gets a hold of the guy and another friend and him take him out of the bar. It was split seconds and I can't actually visualize what happened but I remember screaming. I tried to get in the middle I guess to prevent anything from happening to Beav but I was grabbed by my friend who told me to stop and wouldn't let go. As they went outside, I followed again trying to get to them but now a guy friend grabbed me and told me no and that he was fine. So, I screamed and felt helpless. I couldn't do anything else to prevent whatever was going to happen but to just scream and I did on the top of my lungs. (I was given a free drink my the bartender as a result though. She stated she hopes I scream like that if something was happening to her.)

I realized at that point that I don't want to know what Beav does at work. I don't want to visualize him getting into fights with people. I mentally and emotionally can not handle seeing him fight. I know that he has received training and I trust that the NYPD has created a great police officer but anything can happen and I can not witness something bad happening to him. In the end, he was fine. He thumb was sore the next day he said because of the way he must have grabbed him and received a bunch of praise from the guys on how great he was able to handle the situation so quickly.

I, however, left that night crying. I have spent the last three days thinking about why and there are multiple but I think the biggest was that I realized at that moment he could get hurt at work. I never really think of it or maybe I subconsciously never allowed myself to think that when he goes to work he could come home damaged. That night I saw how naturally taking charge came to him, how he must have practiced this or even used this at work and all my repressed fear for the last couple months came flooding out in the form of uncontrollable and never-ending tears. Beav apologized and understood that I was scared. He repeated over and over again that it was fine, he was fine, and that everything was ok. At some point, I think he realized the tears were for more than a 3 minute incident and he promised me that he would never do anything stupid at work to put himself in danger that would prevent him from coming home to me. The night was silly, embarrassing, and I could have done without it yet that night Beav and I made some sort of new connection outside of that bar maybe a greater understanding of where we both are.