Wedding Drama

I hope everyone enjoyed their Memorial Day. Beav was suppose to be off Sunday and Monday but got ordered in for Sunday. Thankfully, his partner "owed" him from a previous time he stayed late for him so he said he would take the shift. I was beyond excited and we got so much wedding related stuff done. We went and saw a sample of our flowers (which I love!), we set up the tux rentals, and bought the groomsmen their gifts. Overall, it was productive and of course I was able to spend 2 whole days with him which is a rarity.

I was unsure if I wanted to write about this on here but I realized that no one I know reads this and I would love to hear what other people think I should do...

A little more than a week ago I e-mailed Beav's mother stating that I knew she was so busy with her elderly parents and that I looked into some places for the Rehearsal Dinner (They said they would pay for it.). I sent a list of all the places with their prices and told her which one we preferred. I also said that with summer school starting I really would like to get this taken care of before it started plus invitations needed to be bought. Well, two days later she sent both Beav and I a very rude e-mail back. Basically saying that she hated our first choice and would not pay a dime on it so she will pay for the second choice but still thinks that place is horrible plus she made mention how she feels we only care about the check. She went on to tell us what food she choose, who we could invite (Basically - not including my grandparents. Her words were only people directly involved with the rehearsal), and that she would be picking the invitations so we needed to send her the addresses ASAP. Beav and I were furious and hurt. The complete lack of disrespect that was felt from this e-mail was insane. Beav spoke with his father and he basically validated that he understands why we are hurt but begs Beav to let them still pay for the dinner. After, this entire situation Beav told his father that we would pay for the rehearsal dinner because obviously she feels we are only using her for the money.

My dilemma - Beav feels if we pay for the dinner his mother will not come but I feel that I can not accept their money for the dinner after what occurred. Plus, I do not feel ok with not inviting my grandparents to my rehearsal dinner. Yes, they are not directly involved with the rehearsal but they have done anything they could to help John and I during this entire process including letting us store our gifts in their basement until we found our own home. What would you do? Let them pay for it and have it on their terms or pay for it yourself and see what happens?