Sunday, July 31, 2011

We Bought A House!!!

I can't believe I haven't posted in so long but very exciting news from my little corner of the world - Beav and I bought our first home together! It is exciting, crazy, surreal, and let me say again...crazy! I can't believe I have my very own home where I was able to pick out the colors I wanted, the decor, etc. It has also been a lot of work and I am so thankful for my family especially my grandfather who without him the past couple of days I really don't know what we would have done.

It is also our wedding week! We are getting married this Friday which is also amazing to me. I can't believe how fast time flies! I was engaged in November of 2009 and I thought that the time would never come for me to be a Mrs. and here I am a couple days shy of walking down the aisle.

Life is amazing right now and I can't think of a time where I was ever happier! I am getting married to my best friend and love of my life, we just bought our first home together, I have less than a year of school left, and John loves his career! What more could we ask for right now? We are truly blessed <3

Monday, July 11, 2011

We all need to work with eachother...just a little!

Beav and I have a wedding to go to this Saturday. He put the time off request in at least a month ago maybe even 6 weeks and gave a copy of the invitation just to prove we really had somewhere to go. We didn't hear anything so I told him to go check if it was done and approved (or denied). He goes and surprise, is not done. He tells the guy at the desk that he submitted the request at least a month ago and he simply replies we don't do things that far in advance. Really?!? Because this is less than a week! I have already rsvped yes for 2 people. Let's say he gets denied now that leaves me with less than a week to find someone who is available on a Saturday night in the summer to come with me. I can get use to annoying hours, ordered overtime, and even working some holidays but this complete lack of respect they have is ridiculous not even for Beav but what about the person waiting at home for him. The job has its pros and cons but they make it more annoying than it has to be. It's really simple - look at the schedule and if there is some room where he is not needed approve it but don't wait until less than a week!!!

Friday, July 8, 2011

1 Year Anniversary

Well - it was on July 6th.

I can't believe a year as already passed by I think about who I was just one year ago and how I felt. I was scared, lonely, and so fearful of the future and this was the first day. There have been so many ups and downs. There have been times where I felt angry and resentful of him that he was creating this life that sucked, where I was alone, and where he spent more holidays with strangers than me. The academy ended and then the real work started. Everything said it would be better, he would have more time, etc. That lead me to yet another disappointment and yet another breakdown. Everyday that passes though I learn and realize a little more.

If I had to give insight to someone else this is what I would say -
- Plans are not set in stone...EVER!
- NYPD only cares about the "greater good of the department" not about the greater good of Beav or his life.
- Overtime is sometimes forced and no one cares if you had plans.
- Find friends who do things without their spouse/significant other or you will be the 3, 5, 7, etc wheel all the time.
- On his days off, schedule things for him to do not just with you but his other friends also - they miss him also.
- Create your own schedules when possible - who cares if breakfast is at noon and dinner is at 10pm. It works for you and that's all that matters.
- Always express your feelings but understand that he also misses you, does not want to be at work on a holiday, and would rather be at the bar with you.

I'm sure there is more but those are the ones that popped into my mind. One year down and 24 more to go :)

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Today might be rough...

It's almost been a year since Beav as been a part of the NYPD and I can almost start to sense when it is going to be a bad day/night for me. I have gotten over for the most part him missing out on various family birthdays and sometimes even nights out. But today is going to be a bad day - of course I am going to try to use this intuition and alter my way of thinking but I can almost sense it and feel it already.

I live on Long Island, NY so it is common for everyone to drive to the beach or go to fire island during 4th of July weekend. One of my close friends decided she wanted to go to fire island today for her birthday (her birthday is July 1). Initially, I said I wasn't sure because I had a lot of school work to do which is true but has never ever stopped me before from enjoying a good day with friends, sun, and drinks. She would ask and I would tell her I will let her know. This morning I woke up realizing why I had so many internal reservations. We are going with a bunch of people and everyone who is going their spouse/significant other will be there. The ones that don't have one probably won't admit it but they are looking for one and there I am - alone yet committed - its a title that I hate. There was a point in my life that if Beav couldn't come I wouldn't have even thought to go - codependency issues...I believe so. I have gotten so much better. Obviously, for the last year I haven't sat in my house crying every night I have had a few but they have dwindled. Now, don't get me wrong, I know that the couples are not going to be all over each other, full-blown kisses, etc but its the little things I miss when Beav is not around. I miss his brushing past me at the bar letting me know he is going to the bathroom, our eyes meet when he is going to get another drink and silently asks if I want one also, having someone to rest your head on at the end of the night when you are traveling home, and really just having someone there that you know loves you as much as you love them and is there if anything happens.

I'm going to be prepared though this time. I'm going to limit how much I drink so I don't get over emotional, I am going to have the ferry schedule so I know when the ferries are if I really am not having a good time, and I'm going to try really hard to remind myself that I am an independent woman who can take care of herself. Wish me luck - I think I'm going to need it.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Gun Collar

Beav got his first gun collar last night! Unfortunately, because of some specifics the guy will not be charged with it but will be charged with something else. I'm not fully versed in the police language or the attorneys for that matter so I am not exactly sure what occurred. However, I do know that Beav got a gun collar on his record in his first year of being a police officer! I am very proud :) He is exhausted though - he was awake for 32 hours straight and was at work for 26 hours.

I believe I have written before about them getting stuck being at work and awake for 24 hours straight. I hate the idea and think it is so unhealthy for all police officers, doctors, nurses, anyone who works a position where they can get stuck working very long shifts. Not only is it physically unhealthy but Beav has about a 45 min to 1 1/2 hour drive home where he is putting himself and everyone else on the road at risk. There are always stories in the news how people have fallen asleep while driving. Luckily, Beav made it home safe, I gave him an airbourne to give his system a little boost, and he went off to sleep.

Seriously though - there should be rules against 24 hour days!